gen med is a lot of paperwork and legwork and phonework and not much medicine. oh sure there are moments that confirm this is want i want to be doing for the rest of my life, but let me reinforce the truth (expounded throughout our play, tlog): internship is mindless slavery and has very little to do with being a doctor. at the expo last saturday, the future looks clearer but full of difficult choices: physician or GP training? palliative care or oncology? country or city? i know i need to go back to melbourne for physician training and i know i want to work in the country eventually, but should i stay out here for a second year? *sigh*
went and bought a macbook last week when i was down for the expo. it's pretty sweet! jono's getting wireless broadband set up, so we will be free to rock and roll!
*
ACT THREE, SCENE TWO
It is early afternoon. GALAXY is waiting nervously by the desk. He is dressed immaculately. It is the biennial consultant ward round. On ward duty this is the eternal QI, master of the fates of men. GALAXY is nervous because his medical registrar LOPEZ was deported 2 months ago, which means GALAXY hasn’t discharged anyone and the patient list is 50 pages long. GALAXY shuffles the papers. GINGER is behind the desk.
A gong sounds. The eternal QI is lowered from the ceiling. He is dressed in a flowing heshen robe. His head is shaved and his eyes are covered in large bronze coins. He is smoking.
QI
I sense that things… are not well.
GINGER
Smoking is not allowed here.
The eternal QI makes snaking movements with his hands. A flower pops out of the end of the cigarette.
QI
All is not… as it seems.
The eternal QI spits the blooming cig out into the audience. The audience, hopefully, gasps. He stares out into the audience with his coin eyes.
QI
Galaxy. We have… 357 patients.
GALAXY
Um...
QI
Even the longest of ward rounds begins… with one step. Come.
The eternal QI is lifted up off the stage. Galaxy remains standing by the desk, bewildered.
GINGER
You probably want to take the stairs.
GALAXY runs off to the left of stage.
Lights dim. The stage is cleared.
The lights come back up to reveal GALAXY in the middle of the empty stage.
Suddenly the huge head of the eternal QI is projected over the whole stage. He is intoning sutras. The coins covering his eyes begin to spin. There is a flash. On stage now are 9 others. They are all dressed identically to GALAXY, but all are shorter, probably played by children. They all carry large stacks of papers.
GALAXIES
What the fuck?
QI
Now you each have… 35.7 patients. Manageable.
GALAXY 7
We could have the best LAN…
QI
Ward round. BEGIN!
A gong sounds. Patients dressed in gowns run out from the sides of the stage. Some are in wheelchairs, pushed by other patients. Amongst the patients is a cardboard cutout of a cat. There is mayhem. The GALAXIES are chased around by the patients. Paper is flying everywhere. The eternal QI is shouting orders that cannot be heard. The original GALAXY has been hoisted up by a group of the patients and now struggles helplessly, like an overturned cockroach. Some of the GALAXIES collide. A torrent of patient folders are dropped from the ceiling. The head of the eternal QI begins to spin in the background. GALAXY screams.
Lights dim.
Lights return.
GALAXY is lying on his back, alone. The stage is littered with the rubbish left over from the ward round. GALAXY is in a terrible state, bruised and bloodied, his clothes ripped. His pager rings, again like school bell. He wakes up and automatically begins winding the handle. He reads the printout.
GALAXY
Oh no…
Lights dim.
It is early afternoon. GALAXY is waiting nervously by the desk. He is dressed immaculately. It is the biennial consultant ward round. On ward duty this is the eternal QI, master of the fates of men. GALAXY is nervous because his medical registrar LOPEZ was deported 2 months ago, which means GALAXY hasn’t discharged anyone and the patient list is 50 pages long. GALAXY shuffles the papers. GINGER is behind the desk.
A gong sounds. The eternal QI is lowered from the ceiling. He is dressed in a flowing heshen robe. His head is shaved and his eyes are covered in large bronze coins. He is smoking.
QI
I sense that things… are not well.
GINGER
Smoking is not allowed here.
The eternal QI makes snaking movements with his hands. A flower pops out of the end of the cigarette.
QI
All is not… as it seems.
The eternal QI spits the blooming cig out into the audience. The audience, hopefully, gasps. He stares out into the audience with his coin eyes.
QI
Galaxy. We have… 357 patients.
GALAXY
Um...
QI
Even the longest of ward rounds begins… with one step. Come.
The eternal QI is lifted up off the stage. Galaxy remains standing by the desk, bewildered.
GINGER
You probably want to take the stairs.
GALAXY runs off to the left of stage.
Lights dim. The stage is cleared.
The lights come back up to reveal GALAXY in the middle of the empty stage.
Suddenly the huge head of the eternal QI is projected over the whole stage. He is intoning sutras. The coins covering his eyes begin to spin. There is a flash. On stage now are 9 others. They are all dressed identically to GALAXY, but all are shorter, probably played by children. They all carry large stacks of papers.
GALAXIES
What the fuck?
QI
Now you each have… 35.7 patients. Manageable.
GALAXY 7
We could have the best LAN…
QI
Ward round. BEGIN!
A gong sounds. Patients dressed in gowns run out from the sides of the stage. Some are in wheelchairs, pushed by other patients. Amongst the patients is a cardboard cutout of a cat. There is mayhem. The GALAXIES are chased around by the patients. Paper is flying everywhere. The eternal QI is shouting orders that cannot be heard. The original GALAXY has been hoisted up by a group of the patients and now struggles helplessly, like an overturned cockroach. Some of the GALAXIES collide. A torrent of patient folders are dropped from the ceiling. The head of the eternal QI begins to spin in the background. GALAXY screams.
Lights dim.
Lights return.
GALAXY is lying on his back, alone. The stage is littered with the rubbish left over from the ward round. GALAXY is in a terrible state, bruised and bloodied, his clothes ripped. His pager rings, again like school bell. He wakes up and automatically begins winding the handle. He reads the printout.
GALAXY
Oh no…
Lights dim.
1 comment:
Wah Macbook! *drools*
Welcome to the sexy world of Macintosh.
Post a Comment