at long last i have decent access to the internet again. six months of hanging around the hospital after work, struggling on the bug-riddled shared pc in the ressies. no more! what luxury it is to sit on my red beanbag, in front of the heater, with my macbook in my lap. *contented sigh*
lots of bugs around the hospital at the moment and inevitably i've caught one of them. went to the pharmacy and stockpiled multivitamins, cold-and-flu tablets and throat lollies. it was fun! it's all part of my spend-thrift new lifestyle. went and ordered a new pair of prescription sunnies today. six hundred bucks. that number doesn't even mean anything to me. not that i'm rolling around in cash or anything. i just don't have any idea when it comes to money. i think i better go and find myself an accountant.
*
ACT THREE, SCENE THREE
The lights come up to reveal GALAXY standing at the end of MRS DIOU’S bed. She is very unwell, dying. GALAXY stands there hopelessly. Occasionally the cutout convulses, as if in pain.
GALAXY
Mrs Diou, do you have any chest pain?
MRS DIOU
(Weakly) Meow.
GALAXY
Mrs Diou, are you sure you don’t want the machines? To help you breathe?
MRS DIOU
Meow.
GALAXY
Do you want me to make you more comfortable?
MRS DIOU
Meow.
GALAXY steps up to the side of the bed, dramatically.
GALAXY
Mrs Diou, just give me the word, and I will end it. I have the means, but most of all I have the will…
MRS DIOU
Meow.
A series of cardboard cutouts of cats, MRS DIOU’S family, slide in to stage on some kind of track.
GALAXY
(Sadly) She’s almost fucking gone.
MR DIOU
Meow.
There is a rustling sound. The cardboard cutout flicks briefly upright, then is pulled rapidly up and off stage by a piece of fishing line. GALAXY is shocked at this sudden exit. The DIOU family slide off stage as well.
GALAXY
Why did she have to fucking die?
GALAXY takes a faecal stained piece of cloth from his back pocket and looks at it wistfully.
GALAXY
They didn’t teach us about this in medical school, man. No fucking way.
WAXY saunters in from the side of the stage in golf pants and a cap. He isn’t wearing anything else.
WAXY
Did you get autopsy?
GALAXY
Meow.
Lights dim.
17.6.06
11.6.06
lock and load, rock and roll
well here i am, doing what i (thought i'd) love.
gen med is a lot of paperwork and legwork and phonework and not much medicine. oh sure there are moments that confirm this is want i want to be doing for the rest of my life, but let me reinforce the truth (expounded throughout our play, tlog): internship is mindless slavery and has very little to do with being a doctor. at the expo last saturday, the future looks clearer but full of difficult choices: physician or GP training? palliative care or oncology? country or city? i know i need to go back to melbourne for physician training and i know i want to work in the country eventually, but should i stay out here for a second year? *sigh*
went and bought a macbook last week when i was down for the expo. it's pretty sweet! jono's getting wireless broadband set up, so we will be free to rock and roll!
*
gen med is a lot of paperwork and legwork and phonework and not much medicine. oh sure there are moments that confirm this is want i want to be doing for the rest of my life, but let me reinforce the truth (expounded throughout our play, tlog): internship is mindless slavery and has very little to do with being a doctor. at the expo last saturday, the future looks clearer but full of difficult choices: physician or GP training? palliative care or oncology? country or city? i know i need to go back to melbourne for physician training and i know i want to work in the country eventually, but should i stay out here for a second year? *sigh*
went and bought a macbook last week when i was down for the expo. it's pretty sweet! jono's getting wireless broadband set up, so we will be free to rock and roll!
*
ACT THREE, SCENE TWO
It is early afternoon. GALAXY is waiting nervously by the desk. He is dressed immaculately. It is the biennial consultant ward round. On ward duty this is the eternal QI, master of the fates of men. GALAXY is nervous because his medical registrar LOPEZ was deported 2 months ago, which means GALAXY hasn’t discharged anyone and the patient list is 50 pages long. GALAXY shuffles the papers. GINGER is behind the desk.
A gong sounds. The eternal QI is lowered from the ceiling. He is dressed in a flowing heshen robe. His head is shaved and his eyes are covered in large bronze coins. He is smoking.
QI
I sense that things… are not well.
GINGER
Smoking is not allowed here.
The eternal QI makes snaking movements with his hands. A flower pops out of the end of the cigarette.
QI
All is not… as it seems.
The eternal QI spits the blooming cig out into the audience. The audience, hopefully, gasps. He stares out into the audience with his coin eyes.
QI
Galaxy. We have… 357 patients.
GALAXY
Um...
QI
Even the longest of ward rounds begins… with one step. Come.
The eternal QI is lifted up off the stage. Galaxy remains standing by the desk, bewildered.
GINGER
You probably want to take the stairs.
GALAXY runs off to the left of stage.
Lights dim. The stage is cleared.
The lights come back up to reveal GALAXY in the middle of the empty stage.
Suddenly the huge head of the eternal QI is projected over the whole stage. He is intoning sutras. The coins covering his eyes begin to spin. There is a flash. On stage now are 9 others. They are all dressed identically to GALAXY, but all are shorter, probably played by children. They all carry large stacks of papers.
GALAXIES
What the fuck?
QI
Now you each have… 35.7 patients. Manageable.
GALAXY 7
We could have the best LAN…
QI
Ward round. BEGIN!
A gong sounds. Patients dressed in gowns run out from the sides of the stage. Some are in wheelchairs, pushed by other patients. Amongst the patients is a cardboard cutout of a cat. There is mayhem. The GALAXIES are chased around by the patients. Paper is flying everywhere. The eternal QI is shouting orders that cannot be heard. The original GALAXY has been hoisted up by a group of the patients and now struggles helplessly, like an overturned cockroach. Some of the GALAXIES collide. A torrent of patient folders are dropped from the ceiling. The head of the eternal QI begins to spin in the background. GALAXY screams.
Lights dim.
Lights return.
GALAXY is lying on his back, alone. The stage is littered with the rubbish left over from the ward round. GALAXY is in a terrible state, bruised and bloodied, his clothes ripped. His pager rings, again like school bell. He wakes up and automatically begins winding the handle. He reads the printout.
GALAXY
Oh no…
Lights dim.
It is early afternoon. GALAXY is waiting nervously by the desk. He is dressed immaculately. It is the biennial consultant ward round. On ward duty this is the eternal QI, master of the fates of men. GALAXY is nervous because his medical registrar LOPEZ was deported 2 months ago, which means GALAXY hasn’t discharged anyone and the patient list is 50 pages long. GALAXY shuffles the papers. GINGER is behind the desk.
A gong sounds. The eternal QI is lowered from the ceiling. He is dressed in a flowing heshen robe. His head is shaved and his eyes are covered in large bronze coins. He is smoking.
QI
I sense that things… are not well.
GINGER
Smoking is not allowed here.
The eternal QI makes snaking movements with his hands. A flower pops out of the end of the cigarette.
QI
All is not… as it seems.
The eternal QI spits the blooming cig out into the audience. The audience, hopefully, gasps. He stares out into the audience with his coin eyes.
QI
Galaxy. We have… 357 patients.
GALAXY
Um...
QI
Even the longest of ward rounds begins… with one step. Come.
The eternal QI is lifted up off the stage. Galaxy remains standing by the desk, bewildered.
GINGER
You probably want to take the stairs.
GALAXY runs off to the left of stage.
Lights dim. The stage is cleared.
The lights come back up to reveal GALAXY in the middle of the empty stage.
Suddenly the huge head of the eternal QI is projected over the whole stage. He is intoning sutras. The coins covering his eyes begin to spin. There is a flash. On stage now are 9 others. They are all dressed identically to GALAXY, but all are shorter, probably played by children. They all carry large stacks of papers.
GALAXIES
What the fuck?
QI
Now you each have… 35.7 patients. Manageable.
GALAXY 7
We could have the best LAN…
QI
Ward round. BEGIN!
A gong sounds. Patients dressed in gowns run out from the sides of the stage. Some are in wheelchairs, pushed by other patients. Amongst the patients is a cardboard cutout of a cat. There is mayhem. The GALAXIES are chased around by the patients. Paper is flying everywhere. The eternal QI is shouting orders that cannot be heard. The original GALAXY has been hoisted up by a group of the patients and now struggles helplessly, like an overturned cockroach. Some of the GALAXIES collide. A torrent of patient folders are dropped from the ceiling. The head of the eternal QI begins to spin in the background. GALAXY screams.
Lights dim.
Lights return.
GALAXY is lying on his back, alone. The stage is littered with the rubbish left over from the ward round. GALAXY is in a terrible state, bruised and bloodied, his clothes ripped. His pager rings, again like school bell. He wakes up and automatically begins winding the handle. He reads the printout.
GALAXY
Oh no…
Lights dim.
1.6.06
philosophical reflections (whatever)
there is a really hot nurse in ed. i wonder if i should ask her out. it's just lust. i admit it. i have not idea what she's like as a person. and i work with her, although possibly only for three more shifts. anyway, it's a moot point. i can't be bothered.
three more fucking shifts to go. all evening shifts. bloody wonderful. i've been averaging seven patients a shift, but i find towards the end i am just chugging along, dragging my feet, trying to get out of there. ed has been good to me. i've learnt loads of stuff. but it's just not my thing. time to move along.
pretty much settled into my new abode: the posters are up. and for the first time, the 1980s pink floyd poster is on display in all its glory! i like walking 5 minutes to work. i like my new kettle and i love my new double bed. most of all, i simply savour my freedom from the monstrosity that is cheeseman.
im so excited, this being my first week of my philosophy course. we're learning about epicurus. but much more then the content, its being able to think about something other than medicine, doing something i enjoy, the novelty. blah!
sorry no new post of tlog today. i cant be bothered.
three more fucking shifts to go. all evening shifts. bloody wonderful. i've been averaging seven patients a shift, but i find towards the end i am just chugging along, dragging my feet, trying to get out of there. ed has been good to me. i've learnt loads of stuff. but it's just not my thing. time to move along.
pretty much settled into my new abode: the posters are up. and for the first time, the 1980s pink floyd poster is on display in all its glory! i like walking 5 minutes to work. i like my new kettle and i love my new double bed. most of all, i simply savour my freedom from the monstrosity that is cheeseman.
im so excited, this being my first week of my philosophy course. we're learning about epicurus. but much more then the content, its being able to think about something other than medicine, doing something i enjoy, the novelty. blah!
sorry no new post of tlog today. i cant be bothered.
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