despite my doubts, all of a sudden, things were moving pretty fast. jono and i saw the place on tuesday, applied on wednesday, signed the lease on thursday, and got the keys yesterday. i've been running around buying furniture and hiring whitegoods. everything is arriving and getting connected on monday. it's all happening! luckily i have monday and tuesday off, so fingers crossed i'll be installed in my humble (and it certainly is that) abode by tuesday evening.
one more thing: sucked in, cheeseman!
*
ACT TWO, SCENE FOUR
We are in a bar. It's a neat little up-market affair that can be found buried amongst the lanes in the bowels of most major cities. There are the usual pink and purple light shades, the fake leather couches and ottomans, the lounge music tinkling in the air, and obligatory wanker of a barman who looks suspiciously like RALPH. On a couple of stools slightly off-centre of the stage are GALAXY and PANAGIOTIS. They are both drinking beer, and they are both a little drunk. GALAXY is wearing the uniform of the urban twenty-something's male: the tight-fitting printed T-shirt with a pointless message and dark jeans. PANAGIOTIS, on the other hand, looks surprisingly good in a dark suit with an undone bow tie, as if he has just returned from a wedding.
They sit in silence. PANAGIOTIS has retreated into the moody reserve that typifies his drunkenness. GALAXY, on the other hand, is simply exhausted. They continue to drink in silence, until:
GALAXY
I don't know.
I don't know.
PANAGIOTIS
Yeah, it is difficult.
Yeah, it is difficult.
GALAXY
It's been six months now and still I feel impotent.
It's been six months now and still I feel impotent.
PANAGIOTIS
Impotent? That is a very potent word, if you don't mind the pun.
Impotent? That is a very potent word, if you don't mind the pun.
GALAXY
I do.
I do.
PANAGIOTIS
Sorry.
Sorry.
GALAXY
That's okay. (Pauses) What are we talking about again?
That's okay. (Pauses) What are we talking about again?
PANAGIOTIS
I thought we were talking about whether or not the US is going to bomb Iran?
I thought we were talking about whether or not the US is going to bomb Iran?
GALAXY
What the fuck? We were?
What the fuck? We were?
PANAGIOTIS
Yeah.
Yeah.
GALAXY
Well, why would they? They just want to make nuclear power.
Well, why would they? They just want to make nuclear power.
PANAGIOTIS
You stupid boy. Do you really think that's all they want to do?
You stupid boy. Do you really think that's all they want to do?
GALAXY
No. But. You can't just go and bomb the fuck of someone's country!
No. But. You can't just go and bomb the fuck of someone's country!
PANAGIOTIS
That's hardly the point. Iran is evil man! Once they have the bomb anything could happen!
That's hardly the point. Iran is evil man! Once they have the bomb anything could happen!
GALAXY
Well, I still figure this is all a long way from Australia.
Well, I still figure this is all a long way from Australia.
PANAGIOTIS
Yeah, well. (Pauses and drinks) What the hell did you think we were talking about?
Yeah, well. (Pauses and drinks) What the hell did you think we were talking about?
GALAXY
What? Oh, life. My job.
What? Oh, life. My job.
PANAGIOTIS
Your job. Bah. You are a slave. A mindless slave.
Your job. Bah. You are a slave. A mindless slave.
GALAXY
I certainly don't feel like a doctor.
I certainly don't feel like a doctor.
PANAGIOTIS
That's because you're not. You are a paperwork bitch. You are the faecal finger that digitally disimpacts. You are the poor excuse for a retractor holder. You are the human punching bag that buffers the consultants and their patient's crazy families.
That's because you're not. You are a paperwork bitch. You are the faecal finger that digitally disimpacts. You are the poor excuse for a retractor holder. You are the human punching bag that buffers the consultants and their patient's crazy families.
GALAXY
You're right. I feel like shit.
You're right. I feel like shit.
PANAGIOTIS
Take me, for example, I am a lowly orderly. However, I am much happier than you are. My job has a defined useful purpose. I know what the purpose is. Everyone knows what that purpose is. I get an hour off for lunch. I have time to practice my saxophone to play at weddings for a hundred bucks an hour. Then I get to have a crack at the bridesmaid. My life is filled with happiness. Yours is filled with frustration and sorrow. When was the last time you had a good fuck?
Take me, for example, I am a lowly orderly. However, I am much happier than you are. My job has a defined useful purpose. I know what the purpose is. Everyone knows what that purpose is. I get an hour off for lunch. I have time to practice my saxophone to play at weddings for a hundred bucks an hour. Then I get to have a crack at the bridesmaid. My life is filled with happiness. Yours is filled with frustration and sorrow. When was the last time you had a good fuck?
GALAXY
I think I said fuck thirty-seven times today.
I think I said fuck thirty-seven times today.
PANAGIOTIS
(Shakes head) See what I mean? Your penis is shrivelling with disuse.
(Shakes head) See what I mean? Your penis is shrivelling with disuse.
It is at this point JANE enters the bar. She is alone. She is stunning in a red dress that shows off her runner's legs: long and brown from the sun. She exudes health and good vibes. She sees GALAXY at the bar.
JANE
Hi there. Gary, right?
Hi there. Gary, right?
GALAXY
(Is suddenly very sober) Uh yes. Am I worthy of your attention?
(Is suddenly very sober) Uh yes. Am I worthy of your attention?
JANE
What? Don't be silly. Remember me? I'm JANE. We're both interns at the hospital.
What? Don't be silly. Remember me? I'm JANE. We're both interns at the hospital.
GALAXY
Ah yes, our common denominator.
Ah yes, our common denominator.
JANE
Who is your friend?
Who is your friend?
GALAXY
Who? PANAGIOTIS? He's not my friend, he's my wingman. I mean, yes he is my friend. He works at the hospital too.
Who? PANAGIOTIS? He's not my friend, he's my wingman. I mean, yes he is my friend. He works at the hospital too.
PANAGIOTIS
Lovely to meet you, JANE. Your beauty dims all the lights of this room and all other girls pale in comparison.
Lovely to meet you, JANE. Your beauty dims all the lights of this room and all other girls pale in comparison.
JANE
Thank you.
Thank you.
GALAXY
Uh. He's also intellectually impaired.
Uh. He's also intellectually impaired.
PANAGIOTIS
My friend, that is grossly unfair. I simply speak the language of love. But alas, I must fly, for I have a hot little Nordic package waiting for me in a hotel room nearby. One must not keep a lady waiting. Yasou!
My friend, that is grossly unfair. I simply speak the language of love. But alas, I must fly, for I have a hot little Nordic package waiting for me in a hotel room nearby. One must not keep a lady waiting. Yasou!
PANAGIOTIS tactfully retreats from the stage
GALAXY
I thought I was drunk, but now I feel strangely sober. I need another beer. Can I get you anything?
I thought I was drunk, but now I feel strangely sober. I need another beer. Can I get you anything?
JANE
How about a cowboy?
How about a cowboy?
GALAXY
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry?
JANE
Never mind. Get me a Kahlua with coke.
Never mind. Get me a Kahlua with coke.
GALAXY
Uh sure. (Gets up to go to the bar)
Uh sure. (Gets up to go to the bar)
RALPH magically turns up to the couple with the drinks without GALAXY having to order. GALAXY is confused but hands over some cash. RALPH retreats back to the bar.
JANE
(After taking a sip from her drink) So how's work?
(After taking a sip from her drink) So how's work?
GALAXY
It's a tragedy. I hate medicine.
It's a tragedy. I hate medicine.
JANE
That's a shame. We've hardly done any medicine and already you have rejected it. How can you reject something you hardly know?
That's a shame. We've hardly done any medicine and already you have rejected it. How can you reject something you hardly know?
GALAXY
It's… It's just that there is so much crap in the way. I feel like doing something and a hundred things thwart my attempts, belittles my struggles against the stupid system. I feel so puny and useless.
It's… It's just that there is so much crap in the way. I feel like doing something and a hundred things thwart my attempts, belittles my struggles against the stupid system. I feel so puny and useless.
JANE
Poor Gary. (Looks deeply into his eyes) It won't always be like this. You just got to keep that fire going. If you let the system smother you, then you let them win. And we can't let that happen.
Poor Gary. (Looks deeply into his eyes) It won't always be like this. You just got to keep that fire going. If you let the system smother you, then you let them win. And we can't let that happen.
GALAXY
We… (Contemplates the situation while looking at JANE'S thighs) How are you doing this anyway? How can you stand it?
We… (Contemplates the situation while looking at JANE'S thighs) How are you doing this anyway? How can you stand it?
JANE
I run. Running makes me feel good again after a shit day at work. I put some good tunes on my iPod and do a few k’s. It's very therapeutic.
I run. Running makes me feel good again after a shit day at work. I put some good tunes on my iPod and do a few k’s. It's very therapeutic.
GALAXY
Sounds good. I haven't gone for a run since… before our finals exams last year. That's like, eight months ago.
Sounds good. I haven't gone for a run since… before our finals exams last year. That's like, eight months ago.
JANE
It's important to stay fit. If your body is wasting away, how can your mind work properly? It's war out there, man! We must be prepared for those bastards.
It's important to stay fit. If your body is wasting away, how can your mind work properly? It's war out there, man! We must be prepared for those bastards.
GALAXY
You're right. (Takes a long pull at his beer, then signs) I'm so tired, though…
You're right. (Takes a long pull at his beer, then signs) I'm so tired, though…
JANE
I'll tell you what, I run most days after work. About seven o'clock around the park next to the hospital. If you want give me a page, we'll run together.
I'll tell you what, I run most days after work. About seven o'clock around the park next to the hospital. If you want give me a page, we'll run together.
GALAXY
Cool. That sounds great.
Cool. That sounds great.
JANE writes her pager number on the back of a coaster and hands it to GALAXY.
JANE
Here we go. Catch you later!
Here we go. Catch you later!
JANE saunters off stage, leaving GALAXY grasping the coaster with both of his hands, his eyes lingering over the spot where JANE disappeared.
Lights fade.
1 comment:
Bravo.. You can now separate yourself from the hospital.. Or try to.
Happy housekeeping!
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