just what to do with myself?

the emergency block is unofficially over, as we have no more scheduled tutorials, each of us with just a handful of shifts left before our time in the ED is done. most of us have found it a wonderful 180-degree turn from "rural health", to hit the ground running, to be doing things with our hands. the docs and the nurses have mostly been awesome - going out of their way to fit us into their busy shifts, allowing us opportunities to learn if simply because we were there. this i'm sure has changed a few peoples future career leanings. it's strange how much meeting one good consultant or registrar can play a part in our decisions on how we live our life. for example, after doing oncology (ahh my hero dr ding) at the western, half our group were thinking about becoming oncologists; after general surgery at ballarat (debbie, mr deutscher, mr stewart) even i thought surgery wouldn't be so bad; and now, even though i still detest the idea of shift work, and all the blood and wow-factor of major trauma doesn't really excite me, i'm thinking about doing some emergency rotations in my future training. how impressionable we medical students are! it only makes me more excited about working as a doctor in the public system - i can shape generations of malleable bright young virgin minds with little more than free coffee or a few half-hour tutes. *rubs hands with glee*

most of us have been preoccupied with the process of applying for internship this week. much of our talk revolve around where we want to go and how we can get there. and while it feels like our lives will be in limbo until july 19, it's interesting to read lou's musings: "while decisions regarding internship seem overwhelming, whichever hospital, whichever city, there is really no devastating option". this is so true. so many times when i've been in a introspective mood (which is too often, i might add), i've told myself - if i hadn't come down to melbourne, if i hadn't lived at jch for a couple of years, if i hadn't done my clinical years with group a - think of all the great people i would've missed out on knowing, all the friends that i care about that simply wouldn't exist for me. but the truth is, i would've simply met other people, made other friends, and that's all. i wouldn't be a worse person - just different. so it is with internship - wherever i end up next year doesn't really matter as much as it seems right now. as long as i seize the day, try to squeeze the marrow out of life, swim up to the surface as often as i can - then there can nothing more a person can ask for.