the game of life

human beings are fascinating creatures. supposedly sitting on top of the evolutionary ladder, we actually find ourselves living the lifestyle of bacteria. for billions of years since unicellular organisms first came about, bits of life has been sticking together for survival advantage: symbiosis, schools, stampedes, tribes and families. but now while creation may still require coupling, survival has been reduced to the maintenance of self-esteem. in fact, when one loses the will, the system still tries to keep you alive in a biological sense.

in a way, there is actually a perpetual battle being waged between man and the world around him. with the disintegration of culture and the over-abundance of ideas, a stable self-identity is becoming harder and harder to develop and preserve. evolution is now taking place within the space of one life time - within the mind of one person. the curious and self-aware consciousness continuously examines and re-examines it's core values and modifies them in the face of external events. those consciousnesses that succeed in adapting to changing circumstances survive and the person remains sane. those consciousnesses that do not succumb to the chaos and descend into insanity.

a person's self-esteem is often measured by other's reactions towards them. do i feel valued by others around me? it is an addictive game. one acts in ways such that they will be valued by others. a well-behaved child, a service performed gracefully, self-sacrifice for others - these are all strategies employed to gain appreciation. however, like all games, all the players are really in it for themselves, unless they are your allies. and even then, they may stab you in the back if they can get away with it.

however, like all games, it breaks down when the players don't follow the rules. if you don't base your self-esteem on how much you perceive other people value you, for example in individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, and in people who believe in a benevolent god.