so i am sitting at the back of the shop, in front of a muted big brother friday night live (dad's already in bed despite it being not yet 8pm); with mum at the other end of the room, reading her novel with the dictionary open in front of her; ang's in his room listening to pop radio (*shudders*) and doing geeky computer things.
this is my family: we're so very different from each other. we don't share the same interests or even the same goals. all that's holding us together is blood, memories, and a sense of obligation. these sure are strange reasons to have a relationship with someone. and i've realised not much communication is happening between us either. i find i have next to nothing to say to dad or ang, and even with mum, i'm saying less and less because it takes so much effort to explain who everyone is in the story, or the context of what i'm thinking. it's so much easier from day to day just to say nothing, or as little as possible. less talking means less disagreements. ahh... the path of least resistance. until, of course, when we stumble across a topic when neither party is willing to back down. then BOOM! tempers explode, egos are hurt, things get really really messy.
but relationships have to be built on to work well, and this is one relationship i can't just turn my back on and walk away from. i have to be bothered. *sigh* guess i'll just have to give it a go, and hope the effort is reciprocated. it takes two to argue - but it takes two to make things work, too.
3 comments:
Thanks for the chat over coffee today Chi! Will catch up with you before you leave this seaside town in favour of dreary weather down south.
Know what you mean. Sometimes it's just..it seems too hard. Everyone's happy on TV.
The having less and less to say.. It's hard when they don't get what you're going through, and to some extent can't. You're becoming a different person, for better or worse, and it's a journey..they can't completely take with you.
Friends are the family you choose, they say. You can't choose your family. Just have to deal with it. Somehow.
Good luck with bridging the distance..
Explaining the story is half the fun. Or maybe not. Hopefully you do feel some reward if you all end up at a point where everyone understands.
For there to be some communication and connection, everyone needs to put in effort and compromise, not just you. Maybe they just need awareness of the gap, and be willing to find a place inbetween where you can all meet. That's assuming that you all feel there is something to be had in being together and not just sticking to yourselves.
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