it's hard work being good

i know psychiatry agrees with me. i found this out when we first encountered it during psychogeriatrics. delving into someone else's life story interests me like nothing else i've come across so far, finding out where they've been, why they are as they are, building up a rapport with them until i become a node for change in their lives - these are my addictions. and yet the scare tactics over the years must have worked. the idea of actually being a practicing psychiatrist is something i instinctively, irrationally reject. i know i could do it, i know i'd love it once i get into it, but i am holding myself back. at least part of it is i simply can't be bothered: with all the other things happening right now, learning med is the last thing on my mind - even if the long case is worth 50% of the block assessment. i should give it a good go, but swimming up is such hard work... *sigh*