nothing like two sleepless nights up spent hugging a bathroom basin being sick to give you a different perspective on reality.
i thought i hated my life. my stupid consultant. the drudgery of paperwork. the absence of a love life (or any life outside work, come to think of it). it slipped out innocently one evening while i was sitting on the couch. how wrong i was.
i never realised how happy a person can be just to sleep through one night without being woken up by waves of nausea, abdominal pain, headache or fever.
oh. im on call this weekend. fuck.
27.4.07
8.4.07
home (or the closest thing to it)
surprisingly, im back in brisbane for two days.
a total lack of desire to return meant that, when mum's last minute nagging finally got to my conscience, the tickets i bought were twice as expensive than they normally are. but i paid for them, much to ange's disgust: what else is a man supposed to do?
home means the usual family dramas, but the beauty of a quick weekend visit means everyone is on their best behaviour. we're all still putting up with each other's bad habits and banalities. so i sit and read my magazine and books. ang hides in his room making love to his laptop. mum sleeps and cooks. dad wanders around trying to impress everyone but we've all become quite good at ignoring him. one day his ego will surely fail and then he'll be reduced to a sorry blob. then we might take pity on him and give him some of our time and his much craved attention. i love him, i really do. but he's only tolerable in small doses.
ang was angry that i never called him. he accused me of calling my friends more than i call him. this is true. but i find i have nothing to say to him. we have no common ground on which to share or build dreams. maybe im just not trying hard enough.
mum is telling me the same thing. i am calling her less and less. i don't listen. why have i became such an inpatient, cruel person? catherine is right: i snap so quickly these days. in the past i used to put up with so much, waiting for the beautiful moment to justify all my hanging around. now i just walk out. instant gratification is what im after. i detest what im evolving into. im sure its work thats doing this to me. i must rediscover meaning.
speaking of instant gratifications. heres the latest toy:
a total lack of desire to return meant that, when mum's last minute nagging finally got to my conscience, the tickets i bought were twice as expensive than they normally are. but i paid for them, much to ange's disgust: what else is a man supposed to do?
home means the usual family dramas, but the beauty of a quick weekend visit means everyone is on their best behaviour. we're all still putting up with each other's bad habits and banalities. so i sit and read my magazine and books. ang hides in his room making love to his laptop. mum sleeps and cooks. dad wanders around trying to impress everyone but we've all become quite good at ignoring him. one day his ego will surely fail and then he'll be reduced to a sorry blob. then we might take pity on him and give him some of our time and his much craved attention. i love him, i really do. but he's only tolerable in small doses.
ang was angry that i never called him. he accused me of calling my friends more than i call him. this is true. but i find i have nothing to say to him. we have no common ground on which to share or build dreams. maybe im just not trying hard enough.
mum is telling me the same thing. i am calling her less and less. i don't listen. why have i became such an inpatient, cruel person? catherine is right: i snap so quickly these days. in the past i used to put up with so much, waiting for the beautiful moment to justify all my hanging around. now i just walk out. instant gratification is what im after. i detest what im evolving into. im sure its work thats doing this to me. i must rediscover meaning.
speaking of instant gratifications. heres the latest toy:
2.3.07
snapshots
work is stale. but i love the people i'm working with. rosie is a most fantastic consultant. but she is such a shit magnet. it seems like every time she's on the ward someone crashes. the nurses are friends that look out for me. as a team we're a well-oiled machine, working like a dream. i could just never leave...
*
they stuffed up my enrolment. i won't be doing an arts subject this term. but i've signed up to do the physicians training lectures. i feel as if i'm back in first year again: incredibly stupid, scared shitless.
*
living with brumbles and aaron is very different to living with jono. my life is lacking far-out conversations. we skate around each others superficialities. i feel numb at home. insulated. bored.
*
they stuffed up my enrolment. i won't be doing an arts subject this term. but i've signed up to do the physicians training lectures. i feel as if i'm back in first year again: incredibly stupid, scared shitless.
*
living with brumbles and aaron is very different to living with jono. my life is lacking far-out conversations. we skate around each others superficialities. i feel numb at home. insulated. bored.
18.2.07
roadtrip update no.4
beer bottle hammer @ goondiwindi
another wave of sheep @ the outback
a dugout @ white cliffs
sunset @ white cliffs
royal flying doctors base @ broken hill
happy travellers @ baffalo brewery, boorhaman
who loves beer? @ bridge road brewery, beechworth
yet more brews @ bright brewery
the end of an epic journey
11.2.07
roadtrip update no.3
day 13: brisbane – ipswich – toowoomba – goondiwindi
after a hearty lunch with the folks at the norman hotel (the worst vegetarian restaurant in queensland), our adventurous duo made their way to toowoomba. wandered around picnic point for a bit and drove around town some, got bored, drove to goondiwindi on the qld-nsw border. the camping site was pretty awesome, but the ground was incredibly resistant to our tent pegs. we had to improvise using beer bottles as hammers (we drank the beers first, of course).
day 14: goondiwindi – burke – white cliffs
drove over 1000km today: phew! the outback is stunning: floods of sheep and cattle on the roads, willy-willies, the red, red soil and miles and miles of flat shrubbery! stopped by burke for lunch. finally made it to white cliffs (pop. 200) after a close call with a couple of kangaroos. stayed in an underground motel built from old opal-mining dugouts. had dinner with a few locals. it was fantastic.
day 15: white cliffs – broken hill – wentworth
we visited otto at his gallery and barbara at her jewellery store in the morning. both were in their homes (dugouts) and had a wonderful time chatting and looking at beautiful things. drove to broken hill for lunch and visited the royal flying doctor’s service base there. as i admitted to the lady there, this was a bit of a pilgrimage for me… anyway, after much souvenir shopping, we darted down to wentworth on the nsw/vic border. camped on the banks of the darling river.
day 16: wentworth – mildura – bendigo
sprinklers still operate in mildura! it was incredible to see such things again in a drought-stricken country. we went kayaking in king’s billabong and visited the local brewery. fantastic drops there, particularly their storm cloudy ale. we drove down to bendigo in search for more but unfortunately the brewery there had closed. disaster! we did see the salt lake (tyrell) on the way though – it was pretty cool but swarming with flies.
day 17: bendigo – glenrowan – boorhaman – rutherglen – beechworth
finally saw an emu in the wild! glenrowan was a real letdown for me: real history buffs avoid at all costs! it was basically four souvenir shops and some gaudily painted figurines around an intersection. bah! fortunately for me, the excellent pub atmosphere at the buffalo brewery in boorhaman was more than sufficient to wipe away the bad taste in my mouth (helped by their excellent ginger ale). bintara brewery at rutherglen felt industrial and their beers were pretty average, except for their exceptional pale ale. finally we motored to beechworth and camped by the lake.
day 18: beechworth – porepunkah – bright – wangaratta – mentone
now beechworth is a town with a real history! its courthouse is definitely worth a visit. we tasted the offerings at the cosy local brewery before heading south. stopped by porepunkah at boynton’s (a brilliant pilsener). the country was lovely with tall straight pines. the bushfire must have been further south. bright brewery was very modern and their duffel was an extremely easy but dangerous drink at 8.5%. finally we decided we’d had enough and headed back to melbourne. thus ended our epic roadtrip.
after a hearty lunch with the folks at the norman hotel (the worst vegetarian restaurant in queensland), our adventurous duo made their way to toowoomba. wandered around picnic point for a bit and drove around town some, got bored, drove to goondiwindi on the qld-nsw border. the camping site was pretty awesome, but the ground was incredibly resistant to our tent pegs. we had to improvise using beer bottles as hammers (we drank the beers first, of course).
day 14: goondiwindi – burke – white cliffs
drove over 1000km today: phew! the outback is stunning: floods of sheep and cattle on the roads, willy-willies, the red, red soil and miles and miles of flat shrubbery! stopped by burke for lunch. finally made it to white cliffs (pop. 200) after a close call with a couple of kangaroos. stayed in an underground motel built from old opal-mining dugouts. had dinner with a few locals. it was fantastic.
day 15: white cliffs – broken hill – wentworth
we visited otto at his gallery and barbara at her jewellery store in the morning. both were in their homes (dugouts) and had a wonderful time chatting and looking at beautiful things. drove to broken hill for lunch and visited the royal flying doctor’s service base there. as i admitted to the lady there, this was a bit of a pilgrimage for me… anyway, after much souvenir shopping, we darted down to wentworth on the nsw/vic border. camped on the banks of the darling river.
day 16: wentworth – mildura – bendigo
sprinklers still operate in mildura! it was incredible to see such things again in a drought-stricken country. we went kayaking in king’s billabong and visited the local brewery. fantastic drops there, particularly their storm cloudy ale. we drove down to bendigo in search for more but unfortunately the brewery there had closed. disaster! we did see the salt lake (tyrell) on the way though – it was pretty cool but swarming with flies.
day 17: bendigo – glenrowan – boorhaman – rutherglen – beechworth
finally saw an emu in the wild! glenrowan was a real letdown for me: real history buffs avoid at all costs! it was basically four souvenir shops and some gaudily painted figurines around an intersection. bah! fortunately for me, the excellent pub atmosphere at the buffalo brewery in boorhaman was more than sufficient to wipe away the bad taste in my mouth (helped by their excellent ginger ale). bintara brewery at rutherglen felt industrial and their beers were pretty average, except for their exceptional pale ale. finally we motored to beechworth and camped by the lake.
day 18: beechworth – porepunkah – bright – wangaratta – mentone
now beechworth is a town with a real history! its courthouse is definitely worth a visit. we tasted the offerings at the cosy local brewery before heading south. stopped by porepunkah at boynton’s (a brilliant pilsener). the country was lovely with tall straight pines. the bushfire must have been further south. bright brewery was very modern and their duffel was an extremely easy but dangerous drink at 8.5%. finally we decided we’d had enough and headed back to melbourne. thus ended our epic roadtrip.
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