hiatus

so i have dedicated most of the last twelve months of my life this this thing.

and now finally the day has come and gone.

there is some regret. i gave it a shot. i really did. i could have done a bit more, probably. especially the last three months. that didnt really go very well. it couldve made all the difference. maybe. but its done. theres nothing more to do, but wait...

there is a lot of relief. "at least its over!" the little voice in my brain shouts! but almost before that thought can form another pops up next to it: "at least for a little while. i mean, you dont know if it is over for good. and you know, deep inside you doubt yourself, you suspect that you will have to do it again. you know you have to do it again." oh but i dont want to think about that right now.

now is time to rest. clean up my room. put my affairs in order. categorise and cleanse and recharge my batteries. the next challenge may be just around corner.