highway 39

my last days at the rat were filled with those wonderful people who had made the last two years special. ange and george stole a pickup stick from work and made a cd recording of themselves saying random things; went over to clare's house for dinner with aaron, heath, weif and dom; had dinner with my allied health 'harem'; paul helped me move all my stuff into storage; nurses baked cakes for us and the boss took us out for lunch; had a weekend away at carolyn's grandma's beach house at walkerville with brumbles and alison; a couple of parties and numerous afternoons at the pub lingering into evenings...

despite the stuff-ups with my visa applications and the stress of packing and moving, despite the going away drinks and the hugs and goodbyes, the reality of going overseas and driving around australia still seem a distant one, a daydream to play with when im bored then put away for later. i don't feel like im in the middle of an excellent adventure; i don't even really look forward to it that much. what is wrong with me?

a bit of my new reality began to sink in as i drove between ballarat and brisbane. the newell highway, highway 39, departs shepparton, victoria and stretches the entire length of country new south wales until it arrives at goondiwindi at the queensland border. somewhere after dubbo, the tall gum trees lining the road, the rolling foothills of the great dividing range, the field of morning fog hiding emerald paddocks, the countless passing highway towns, each with its own farcical claim to fame... all blended together to leave a sense of wonder threatening to burst from my chest. between goondiwindi and warwick, sheets of rain collapsed around me, lightning thundered too close for comfort, and peering intently into the five metres of water in front of me, i rediscovered the jolt of fear and exhilaration that i last experienced when i entered a train compartment on the new york city subway, late one night in july, to suddenly realised that i was the only one on board who wasn't black. it's moments like these that make one feel incredibly alive.